Father & Kid

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Father & Kid

Dr. M.Gupta

 

Parent (Father) & Kid relation is very special, it is totally different from any other relation. Many people like Dr. Keith Crnic devoted their entire life for the study of this particular relation. Kids future even entire life depends on his relation with his parents. Some study shows a kid growing under influence of Father & Mother are more normal then a kid grow under the influence of single parent. The word normal has a wide meaning, for example study shows kids rise by single mother are more open to accept criminal activities compare to kids rise by both parent.

If we look past 10-15 year India is shifting toward single parent or more precisely single mother zone, that means in next generation we will be able to see a lot of kids without father. Why I said without father ? Simple reason is if we look at custody orders from various court we will find in a disputed situation the norm is ‘kids custody goes to mother’ and Father’s role a just as an ATM, he is bound to pay all expenses of kid for just few hour meeting every month. This trend is very dangerous for our future. Law Commission of India also understand the risk and they recommend the shared parenting as default. So far nothing has been done by Govt of India.

Although nothing has been do to make shared parenting a default option, but it does not matter we should not do anything. We as a parent need to understand kids are not our own property. It is true that matrimonial dispute is pending but that does not mean we are free from kids responsibility, also we need to understand kids are not our weapon to attack other parent. This tendency we can see in both the parents but it is more common is mother. Normally mother treat kid as her own property and she wont allow father to see, even in many cases after courts order too father do not get access to kids, still they are forced to pay all expenses of kid. The situation rise because of social believe as well as gender biased law. Soon the situation will be alarming. The awareness regarding this matter is so low that people siting on responsible seats also not caring about kids. For example one of our leader said if divorced or separated lady don’t want ‘her’ child to know about biological father, it is her right. Many will say what is wrong in that ? I would say at-least three wrong :

 

  1. The kids is not ‘her’ child, it is their. Recently there was a news about the special arrangements made for the meeting of mother & kid, even the women killed kids father. Now the important observation is does not matter if women is hard core criminal still she is mother, with the same logic it does not matter what the father is, he is still father. It is father’s right to see his kid, even it is kid’s right to see his father. Who the women is to break this right ?
  2. It is child’s right to know about his parents, parents means both mother and father. Even we can extend this to entire family including grand parents. No-one can take away the right of child, but unfortunately our society as well as authorities trying to do that.

 

Single parent can’t be a norm but under special circumstances it can be accepted. For example adopted kids or kid born with the help of science. When a kid is adopted by single or couple he/she/both are fully responsible for the kid. But unfortunately we are trying to apply these exception in normal life.

 

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